I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
