Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
