I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
