She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
