I skipped work to stalk him.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
