I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
