why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
