when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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