I hope mine doesn't look like that
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
