I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
