I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and she was petting her beer can
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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