Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
