So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
