A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
