Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It was confusing and full of hummus
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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