here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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