There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
