In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
