I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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