This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
