i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
