i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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