The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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