I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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