Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
