you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
