I have demons in me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
