Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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