Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
