My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
