Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
