Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
