well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
