I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
