no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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