he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
