its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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