Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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