Christians are straight up FREAKS
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
