never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
