"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
