i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
