There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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