First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
