The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
