I'm really into asian looking animals
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
