Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
