We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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