it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
