Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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