I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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