You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
