before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she told me i tasted like america
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
